Rambling

Having a 10 month old is crazy.  I think she purposefully contradicts everything I read.  I do know one thing, however, she has slept through the night for the past 2 days.  This is the first time in 10 months that she has started doing so.  She did it 2 weeks ago as well, but this was short lived, and we had another week long regression.  Naps during the day are hit or miss.  Somedays, she refuses to nap and will go full force all day, and others, she will nap.  And, it will be glorious.

This morning, she is napping, and I get to drink hot cocoa and type.  I am in heaven.  One thing that I would really like to start doing daily, is focusing on my spirituality.  In particular, I want to know God.  I want to stop the procrastination of knowing God, and just coexist with Him.  As I type this, I realize that I am the one standing in my own way, which sounds so cliche.  I think I've heard this line spouted off in church about 10k xs.  So God, please speak to me as I sit and relax.  Please revive my soul and give me rest.  Help me to know You.  Tell me about You.  I guess the answer to what are God's hopes and dreams is that we know Him and make Him known.  All glory and honor to Him we give.

Lord, help me to focus on today.  On now.  Calm my anxious spirit.  Holy Spirit, help me to chill out. Thank you for allowing me to be your child.  Help me to feel security as I wrestle with fears of death and dying.  Help me to prepare for life after death.  Help me to be thankful, and to give, and to forgive.

Thank you for saving me.  Thank you for helping me.  Please heal me and restore me.  I am so broken and have too many deficiencies to count.  Please help me to not focus on fixing, but rely on You to fix.

Thank you.